Tuesday, May 26, 2009

Five Years

This weekend, I had some new friends over for a pool gathering. During the process of the visit, one of these friends spotted a picture of Andrew & me from New Year's 2003/4. That's just a bit over four years ago, the year before we became parents. It's a really good picture, taken with this long lost camera that flipped around so you could see the picture and get the best side, pose, light, etc. This was the year we all discovered that if you took a picture while kind of lying down (head back on couch, camera held up above) you got an instant face lift. :) This picture of Andrew & me is on a fridge, where I guess it's been since then (when we moved, everything that had been on the old fridge just got put back up there).

This new friend was really kind of surprised that it was me in the picture. And it's got me thinking-- have I aged so much in the last five years that I don't even look like that slightly younger version of myself? I've always been pretty happy with my aging. I do weigh a lot more right now. That New Year's I was in great shape-- working out every day, in fact, I was an aerobics instructor. My hair was long, and wasn't growing out a perm so it was pretty good. And I had makeup on, which I don't wear on a daily basis. But I don't think I look so different from that person that shock would be most people's reaction normally, but apparently, I do.

I want to age "gracefully" but I'm fine with aging. I don't want to botox & plump & lift, although I can now understand better the desire to do so.

I don't feel bad, necessarily, but it's a really powerful lesson. I look at my daughter, who looks so much like I did when I was little, and I see her pretty face & it makes me feel good about me. I may be an almost forty mom with about 20 pounds too much fat on my belly & butt and a few more grey hairs & wrinkles than I had before I had my kids, but I have that joy and my girl & my boy. I'm not generally super vain but it was enlightening that she was so surprised the hot chick in the picture was me.

It's a great "wake up and go to the gym more" call.