Dreaming

I woke up today with a dream that combined two things.

I was fighting with a rude class of students who were being mean to a girl I know who wanted to read passages from some poetry that moved her. I actually was being threatened by one particularly rude student who was going to "sue me." So that was weird. And then the dream merged into something where I was being persecuted because some people in some grocery store I needed things from were saying I was a witch. And I guess, in the light of the fact that I woke trying to cast a binding spell on the one worst persecutor-- someone in the dream named Cindy whose hair I also swiped a piece of in this dream-- then perhaps I was a witch. But the spell wasn't a bad one-- just one to bind her from her cruelty. So I apparently was a good witch. In part of the dream I was also explaining Wicca to the cashiers, and beginning to win them over at least to understanding I wasn't an evil devil worshipper but just someone who saw things a little differently.

So the combo of teacher and Wicca good witch but being rather persecuted and trying to protect a young student who loves poetry very much is rather interesting. I don't know, at this moment, exactly what it means. Anyone care to psychoanalyze me?

Rethinking, Recycling, Revamping

This past Friday, I did a lecture/presentation on Third Wave feminism. I had a pretty big crowd. Part of this was self-promotion & giving my students who attended extra credit. (Not many of them were mine, though. Lazypants.) I made an AWEsome flyer, and a lot of people were intrigued by that.

I thought about not doing the presentation. I signed up for it in the more optimistic, everything-is-possible start of this semester way back in January. As the semester has gone by, I've missed most of the other presentations because this has been such a weird "Spring" for me. So I just wasn't sure. I'm kind of in the "glass half empty" phase of the semester-- tired, frustrated, ready for summer. (Everyone gets there.... students & teachers alike.) Sometimes I am back in the plus, but sometimes it's just hard to do anything because it all seems to be overwhelmingly too much.

But then I thought-- you know, this is what I do. I like to teach, I hardly ever get the chance to justify simply talking about Feminism, and my brand of it, too. Yeah, I work it into some of my regular "comp" and literature lectures, but thus far, I haven't been lucky enough to teach a course that was specifically about this. So it was new ground for me, in a way.

I had a lot of fun, learned a lot. I had one person in the audience who wasn't really "feelin'" it and was not going to be convinced, I think. But I got a lot of "love" from students, including two today who were inspired to go to the bookstore to find some of the books on the handout I had available.

But it's made me think about what I do, and what I wish to keep doing, with my life. I will never quit teaching, no matter what. But it's possible that it may be a while until I'm in front of a classroom as the teacher of record. And I'm good with that. My lectures will just have to be over coffee or margaritas, delivered to one or two interested parties, for a while.

And that, my friends, is a glass more than half full kind of feeling. Sure, maybe it's one of those big margarita glasses. Just no salt please.

Technology & Ch ch ch changes....

I use a lot of media in my teaching-- Power Points, YouTube videos, music, audio files of poems, etc. I think it's really important to access these things because students are used to more dynamic media and if we go in there with books and chalkboards, it's just kind of boring. Sure, they can figure it out, but it's not as interesting as all the shiny things out there.

But the problem with this is that it can take a RIDICULOUS amount of time. I just spent TOO TOO long trying to figure out how to load a DVD clip into a PowerPoint presentation. I want to show a clip from Disney's Enchanted, where she gets rained on, and goes "into the underworld" as symbolic of certain repeating themes in literature/movies. And I thought it would be cool if I could just pop it into the PowerPoint instead of having to navigate between several different programs. PowerPoint "Help" said there were programs that can do it, so I downloaded it. And had to do it again. And then remove some redundant programs. Then do it again. Then, the one I had wasn't the right version. And then, the "pro" version which supposedly would allow me to
"clip" exactly the scene I wanted (instead of playing the whole DVD-- not what I want to do) did not work. I think the DVD itself has a lock/copyright protector that doesn't let it clip the scene.

I know there are probably programs out there that let you do this. But dammit, I was prepared to pay for the program & use it under "Fair Use" copyrights etc. But it is REALLY really really annoying to have spent the last hour trying to get this technology to work for me and then have it crap out.

So. Now I'll just play the movie clip the boring way, opening multiple programs. Stupid gadgets. Wasting all my time. Why I oughta.....

Anyway, this plays into my "big changes" coming soon. This summer and beyond, I plan to start working on an Educational Courseware thing that I do a lot with. It will be cool, and I think really something that has the potential to be awesome. I plan to most likely NOT teach next Fall, also. There are budget cuts afoot which mean my job might not even be there anyway, plus I need to help with our Real Estate business (between my hubby & my investments & the investments we manage for my mother-in-law, we now have 11 rental properties in our home town alone (two more elsewhere). Most of them run smoothly, but on a day to day basis, it's very time-consuming. And we plan to get more. So. I am just too too busy to adjunct + mom + real estate Tycoon + web based small business plan + exercise + + +. Somethin's gotta give.

I'm kind of excited about it. If it all goes well, (business wise we continue to be successful) we are going to build a little office onto our garage for me to work in. Right now, I work in a closet in our TV room which the babies are constantly mucking about with. The office I envision is something out of a Pottery Barn catalogue, with lots of windows and flowering plants & music playing and and and......the nicest thing about it is that there will not be a kitty litter box anywhere NEAR it. (At this time, whenever my cat decides to "freshen up" the box is close enough that it is gas warfare.)

So. Those are the big changes that are afoot. I did not want to say anything until I had told my boss at work so he didn't think I was blowing off LSU. I really like teaching there, and would continue to do so if there were only 80 hours in a day. :) And/or if I had a tenure-track job-- but that isn't in the wings, either, so.

It's been making me very sad that I spent all this time getting my PhD and haven't, because of being locationally limited, been able to get a full-time position somewhere. And it felt like a failure. There just isn't a position in what I do here at LSU, and even though I adore teaching and would do it no matter what, I need to devote my attention to other things. And it doesn't feel at all like failure, just a re-assessment of goals & needs. I will miss my students, but maybe I can do a continuing ed class or go guest lecture for some of the folks who are still going to be there.

Anyway. Boy is this a long post. And it's time to get the kiddos and cook dinner and move away from the hour or so of "me time" (spent messing with this darn computer).

Read-In

When I was an undergrad long, long ago, I was a featured poet at a poetry reading sponsored by the UWF English club. I read with (I think four) other poets. I think I read three or four poems, mostly love poems. One of them was something like this (I'm trying to remember it--I'm paraphrasing it wrong. There was more art to it... another stanza, I think, so I'm NOT doing it justice).

Long ago,
our love
sat up once, sighed,
and died.
And nobody noticed
until summer came
and it started
to smell.

It got quite a laugh at the event, but it was true, too. Kind of Dorothy Parker wit-like. (I don't claim to be as GOOD as Dot, but I tried.)

It had a little bit more to it. It was written in response to the high school boyfriend tormenting me that I never wrote any "happy" poems. So I wrote a funny one, making fun of him. :) Revenge.

Anyway. Today, I spent the afternoon working on the Black Literature Read in I'm sponsoring/organizing on my campus. I had auditions and got three great students to read during what should be the busiest time, a time on our campus called "Common Hour" when all students have no classes so they can be on campus for events like this one.

I made a cool flyer with the students on it, and posted about fifty of them around campus. I happened to run into one of the students by the elevator where I had just posted his picture. He was looking at it, thinking "Hmmmm. I know that guy."

Last week, someone I don't know who, took down a bunch of my flyers. They had to go out of their way to do so. It annoys me. If you're no into the idea, don't come to the event, but don't ruin it for everyone else!

But I still have the flyer from long ago and far away with my little old name on it. It meant a lot to me, even though, at this date, it's the only reading of my own work I've done. (Someday. When I grow extra hours in the day).

I think it's going to be fun. A bunch of students are really excited, and I hope it works. Since minority American lit is one of my many, many specialties (the "many" is an exaggeration) I figure I'm the main person who is going to organize this kind of thing around here.

It would be awesome to have more things like this, though. We have student events like "foam parties" but I don't think there are enough cultural ones-- there just never are, and it really does take up a lot of time & energy & thought.

So that's been my thing this week. How are you doing?

Getting Stuff Done

Which I am only sporadically doing. How in the world did I used to get so much stuff accomplished in one day? I remember back in the day I could do SOOO much and be done by 5 to head to Flats & have a beverage. Nowadays, I find so much of my time just seems gone by the time I even wonder what time it is.

I guess that's just the complaint of the "old folk."

Remember when summer lasted three years and you couldn't wait til you finally turned some magic number (maybe 16?) when everything would be different?

I do. But it never really was. I'm not nearly as melancholy as this sounds, but still.

Spring Semester Cutbacks

Let me start with this: I absolutely love to teach. I would do it for (and do sometimes) FREE. (Good thing, too because with the following news, it's close).

Here in the Swampland, budget cuts have hit an already not so fab system and made cutbacks roll around to the lowest common denominator. Andrew, luckily, pays the bills so my news is not devastating for our family. And it will give me time for other plans of a freelance nature.

Yesterday, I learned that instead of the FULL load of 4 classes (approximately 100 students, 100 freshman comp papers every two weeks-ish) I am only teaching TWO. It's wonderful news for me.

I had not wanted that heavy of a load; it sort of happened, I think, by accident, but I was "on the hook" for it and could only get off of that hook by looking like a jerk, so I was going to suck it up. Last semester I had the same workload and I had NOT A SECOND of free time for three months. Things got put off. Many things. So now, this Spring Semester, I will be "Done" for my day of "needing to be on campus" work by 11 am. (That doesn't mean done with work, and I'll still have papers to grade and work to do, but not so damn much).

This means that I will definitely meet my goal of exercise, and other things I won't enumerate here. It's awesome. I'm relieved.

It will be fun to teach such a small amount of students (only 50), what being an adjunct is SUPPOSED to look like. (Part time work is what it's considered.) And "I love to teach" will be once again my mantra, not "I've just gotta get this done, get through this heavy load til the next one".

SO that's the meaning of my strange Facebook status yesterday. Vaycay semester. And me a lean, mean, aerobically fit, fighting machine again. I'll see you suckas in the gym. I'll be the one rockin to this on my I-pod*:


**FYI: in no way is an enjoyment of this song an endorsement of the naughty behaviors depicted within. It's just funny. And I like workin' out to it cause it seems so contrary to being IN the gym. :)

Urgh

Writing a new tech writing syllabus. New text, new stuff. It's challenging and I just don't wanna do it. I've been, instead, playing on facebook all day. Whee!

Coming Soon

For the January= Spring Semester, my classes are all going to be required to blog entries about the literature we're reading. Other things, too, since I'm going to be teaching a "how to be a college student" class.

What does that mean for you, gentle readers (if there are any of you out there...)?

I'm going even MORE public. This blog will be totally an extension of my work life, my teaching persona. I doubt a lot will change. I'll probably try to control most of my whining. If you're just dying to see me in a less public way and don't know my myspace persona, let me know & I can send you there, but I don't blog there much anymore, either. Perhaps I will do more now that I'm mmore out of the virtual closet.

It also means a student or two might show up on this blog to comment, since they'll be able to see it in the dashboard. Just a heads up. You don't have to behave any differently, really. It's all good in the hood.

Gustav Fizzles

For us, at least. We had rain, yes, but honestly a regular thunderstorm about two months ago did more damage around here, flooding several houses down the street from us (literally down-- downhill and in a bad spot, apparently). There were some downed tree branches, and I did see a fairly large tree branch downed a few blocks away but it didn't look like it damaged the house. So we're all good. We had two days of class cancelled for it, though.

I spent those days working on restoring the rental property. We have a tenant that wants to move in on Sat, so we need to get 'er' done.

The property is a Craftsman style bungalow house and it's really quite pretty. There are so many nice features that I'm excited to rent it to someone. I would live there, myself, if we didn't have an awesome place already. Today, I put up wallpaper. It was work, and for a few minutes of several crooked corners in the walls, I was cursing a bit. But I got it done. It looks really nice.

What's weird to me is to grow up as poor as I was, and now be "the landlord." Checking people's credit (which, by the way, we mostly gave up on. The folks we're renting to admitted to not having great credit, but they're such a sweet little group of family/cute kiddos that we just want to give them a break. And we have this dream of making up some really nice places that are affordable for people who otherwise wouldn't get a nice house. It's kind of cool, but a source of much cognitive dissonance for me sometimes.

Now, tomorrow, back to school. I am going to meet with my new class, which I was just assigned a week into the semester, for the first time. The professor who was going to teach it has had to take a semester off, so they asked me to take it and I am happy about it. I love teaching survey courses. :) I'm already ON it. :) But the day off delayed us again and I had to delete one new reading. Ah well. So it goes.

Anyway. I'm TI-IRED. And I have wallpaper glue all over me.

Fall-ing Again

Well, it is rounding on end of summer time hereabouts. A week and a few days til school starts. I'm teaching three classes of mostly first-time fresh-folks. (I know, gender neutral seems weird but that's a good way to say it I think). I am OCD about doing my syllabus really really early, and I do a very detailed syllabus with every day's lesson plan in advance. This way, I don't have to plan that much during the semester. I know exactly what I'm doing each day. And I do update the syllabus every semester, removing things that didn't work, or that I am just tired of. And I'm still trying to tweak it for perfection of "low grading, high feedback" for the students. Still haven't figured that out. I spend way too much time grading.

Anyway. So yesterday I finish up my syllabuses and then I find out that the campus bookstore had ordered the wrong anthology for one of my classes! Argh!! Then, I find out that the book for the other classes, which I haven't taught since last Fall, has updated with a new edition. Argggh Again!! That means I have to go update my syllabus with the changes. They always take out a few readings in the new editions to justify charging 80 bucks for a textbook, which students can't get used when it's a new ed. And I think about three of my essays are gone. SO IRRITATING. If I weren't compulsive and put off the syllabus making til the last minute, I wouldn't have to re-do. But I am paranoid that if I don't do it early, something will come up (an illness on my part, or the kiddos) and I won't have time to spend the hours I spend tweaking the darn things. So I get sort of self-punished by doing the work early. Ah well. It's not ditch digging, after all is said and done.

I made a cool sign for my office hours on my door, using this graphic. I like having something new each semester, something that fits my mood. And my door has several cute comics (mostly Calvin & Hobbes) and I try to be "that interesting teacher". I think it generally works.

Now to go re-do my syllabus. Pfffhhht! Darn publishers.