Dreams

When I woke up this morning, I knew I had a dream that was really quite complex & interesting about my career. I can't really remember details anymore (I hate that when it's been a good one) but I know that subconsciously, I've begun to plan things for a future that I hadn't really thought about.

Let me 'splain/sum up. When we moved here, I figured I'd work at a local university, maybe get myself hired eventually, because Andrew is here at least 5 years. It could be longer if we have ties here... which we don't really have super big ones at this point. But me getting a good job would have been a tie. Kids going to school here (which they will be doing by the time Andrew's committment is up, but only barely) is a smaller tie.

I have applied for three jobs in the region. One at the Uni where I work as an adjunct, one at a Uni about an hour away, and one as an admin at local Uni where I work. I didn't get any of them. The professor position at the school where I work was the most difficult. I really wanted it, figured I had a good shot, and was super crazy disappointed when I didn't get it. But I grew up, got over it, and realized that based on who they did hire, I actually wasn't as qualified as I had thought I was. (I don't do exactly what she does.) The one at the Uni about an hour away was disappointing because a bunch of random things seemed to point to me working there and it seemed like it would be cool. I had no real evidence other than one student who didn't like going there (it's kind of rural). But they didn't even get back with me (wankers) at all, even with rejection letter. The admin job was number three and I don't know if it was cause I was getting used to it or what but I was disappointed but in a far less painful way. Partly because I really do love teaching and wasn't positive admin was the life for me, partly because they were super professional in handling the whole thing and I heard the "no" as soon as was possible without weeks of agonizing waiting.

So anyway-- that's a very long narrative to say this: I am glad I didn't get any of those. Not in a bitter sour grapes way. It turns out, the last week in Texas reminded Andrew & I that we really, really want to go back there. We miss it terribly, and that is where our hearts are. So getting a permanent "real" job here would have tied me to this area far more than we are, and I wouldn't have felt right about being hired on and then leaving in just a couple of years. So now, we are clear for take off, and hopeful for a future where people regularly call each other "miha" and "miho" and know the difference between pico de gallo & chunky salsa.

And my dreams are of there, and they are happy ones.