Monday, August 23, 2010

Whew! Dusty in here!

::cough cough:: dusts dusts....clears away blog cobwebs.......

Really?  My last blog entry was MAY?!  Well, it just illustrates what's been going on here better than my apologies and disclaimers could.  I doubt very many people read the blog here anymore, anyway.  It's all about the Facebook status update, and who has time for more than a few hundred words, right? 

Since January, when I pulled Maia out of daycare because I wasn't working and it's silly to pay daycare fees when I'm at home anyway I have been on a roller coaster of Stay at Home Mom-ness.  She wasn't so hard to care for overall by herself but then once summer officially hit, Sean has been home and sometimes he is so time consuming it's not even funny.  If I gave you a list of all the things I should be cleaning right now, things that he basically has done since Sunday morning to trash the place, you would most likely have to pick up your jaw off the floor.  And then it would fall down there again. 

It's not normal kid mess, either, it's Super Autism Boy mess.  Yes, it is likened to a super power here.  I wouldn't say super villain cause his powers are not used for evil, not really.  He's more a dark super hero-- like maybe Batman or Wolverine-- who has his normal intentions sometimes turn out a bit destructive.

Today, though, is the last day of summer break for the kiddos.  They both start full time, 8-2:30 School tomorrow!

Pause for the sound of angelic choirs singing JOY JOY HALLELUJAH!!

Maia is in Kindergarten and Sean is back at his same ECSE class.  I am really looking forward to having some private time, some time where no one talks to me for hours.  For me to be able to sit on the couch folding clothes and not have a child come in the room and mess them all up before I can put them away.  For hours of writing my own writing, rather than working on anyone else's (and that's a subject for another blog post another time).  And mostly, for climbing out of this hole I feel a bit like I've been in for six months or so.

It's not depression, and do not get me wrong; I adore my children and am super duper grateful for the times we've spent together this summer.  Cuddles in the morning, laughing at them when they do something silly, watching them swim and play all day together. 

But there isn't a lot of higher brain function needed for yelling "SEAN STOP IT" one more time while he's for some reason running across the patio knocking down everything he can knock over (chairs, tables, garbage can).  Or for helping Maia find a place to hang her home made (duct tape & soda cans) mobile (which frankly is amazing but still--not what I want to do right. this. second... ).  It's a bit crazy making sometimes, and tiring, and then you hit pause for sleep and then start back on play/fastforward another day of do it all again.

Being a mom is a great gift and I cherish it.  But it's not ALL that I am and I can't wait to get some time to just me during the day.  And also time to spend with JUST ANDREW... which will be so nice again.  This is nothing new-- it's an age old complaint of people with young children and I don't say it in any particularly unique way. 

But it's kind of the last day of summer, for me, and in spite of the continuing 100 degree days we will have for at least a few weeks, I am going to do a happy Welcome Fall dance.