Hanging Over One's Head...

Things. Stuff that needs done. When I was writing my dissertation it was always that-- research, writing, editing. Send it to the committee. Wait (forever) for their input. Repeat. Then I was done! Unaccountably. After the self-induced computer inspired Tourette's of editing the damned thing to turn in to the graduate school I was done.

I had heard about the "you feel like you still have something to do" syndrome of post-dissertation land, and I felt it for a little while. But mostly, I DO have things I want and need to do.

• write novels (I have three or four of them in my head. Just like with the dissertation, I tend to get bogged down in research).
• finish the proposals for the two scholarly books I'm trying to get together
• write myself into a huge grant to get stuff for the English department that I want to use.
• write up applications for jobs
• figure out if I want to try for HS jobs
• clean my house
• prep for Halloween-- buy some pumpkins, costumes, etc.
• garden (my poor garden is ridiculously choked with weeds and tall weedy grass)
• revise several things for my Women Writers site
• things I'm clearly forgetting

Of this nice long list, I'll probably accomplish one or two things this week.

But today, I'm mostly thinking about cleaning. And being annoyed by the way Shreveport + service industry jobs work (or don't) together. Last time the lady who had been cleaning my house every two weeks came over, I essentially fired her, in my head. I didn't really tell her but I feel like she got the hint when I was as pissed off as I was when she left. And today would be the day she would have come by. I really liked having someone come and mop and do my bathrooms every couple of weeks. For the most part, minus munchkin clutter that happens on a daily basis, we keep the house pretty clean. But with all the hardwood floors, we need mopping regularly. But I was just sick of the drama that came with this lady. So now, she's supposed to call me and come by early in the morning (one of the bits of drama was perpetual lateness.) So now I'm thinking what I really want to do is have a babysitter come by and watch/play with the monkeys while I clean the house. It will end up being cheaper, and I like the way I clean. I just don't usually have the time and/or energy to keep up with the kiddos while I also am elbow deep in Fabuloso cleanser. (My favorite-- smells like lavender Kool-aid. And while that probably would not taste good, it is wonderful in the house.)

Anyway. Right this second I am feeling a little icked out by the smuggy smell of the air in the swampland today (we have sulfur-y swamp-y today. Mildew + Wet, a bit muggy, rotten eggs. At least it's not hot, but it's still stinky.) And planning to get myself dressed and clean the house and go shopping with the kiddos. Husband is working today so I'm on my own. Bleeeh.

But I really tend to feel guilty for that long list of things I'm not going to get done today. Let me add another list here so that I can at least get something checked off:

• Spoil my children.
• Love them crazily.
• Smooch and play with them.
• be amazed as Sean says more words than he used to (he sang "My Country Tis of Thee" the other day).
• Repeat.